Wednesday, August 13, 2008

*sigh*

I seriously think these movie executives sit around in a huge conference room asking each other "What can we do today that will piss Tom off?" Then they do it.

It was just announced that Billy Bob Thornton is going to play Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare On Elm St. remake.
I think I've made my opinions on remakes clear.
I like how they call it a "reimagining". What they really mean is "We've completely run out of ideas. People go see these stupid remakes. Which one can we remake to cash in on this shit?"
Y'know, make all the sequels you want. If they're any good, people will go see them. But leave the original alone. Normally, I'd have put that last sentence in bold and in CAPITAL LETTERS, but I'm just beat down. There's nothing left in my tank. It takes a lot out of me to hit that "caps lock" button.
I also like how they say "Ooooo, Wes Craven is involved, so it'll be good!"
Did anyone see "The Final Nightmare"? It was the one where Heather Langenkamp, Nancy in the original, plays herself, the actress. She is making another "Nightmare" movie in the movie. The "real" Freddy Krueger haunts the set. Or something. It fuckin' sucked. And Wes Craven wrote and directed that.
Fuck it. I'm done.

Oh, and they're remaking "Fargo" with Jake Gyllenhall and Ice-T as the hitmen, and Elizabeth Hurley as the cop.
















Not really. But admit it. It didn't sound all that far-fetched, did it??

8 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm generally right with you on this issue, except in a few isolated cases. For example, at first I was pissed they'd think about remaking Logan's Run, but then I read the actual novel and found that it was much different than the movie, a good deal darker in tone. So I think in a case like that, there's some valid room for a remake.

But in 99 percent of the cases, it's usually just Hollywood running out of original ideas.

Jen Sykotic said...

I totally believed you about the Fargo remake!

It's extra funny about the Nightmare movie because Robert Englund is still around/available. Didn't Freddy vs Jason just come out like 2 or 3 years ago? And I heard they were making a Freddy vs Jason vs Pinhead movie, I assume England would be in that. Yeah, Hollywood needs to get off their fat lazy asses and come up with some NEW ideas.

Tom H. said...

I heard they didn't ask Englund because if they're gonna "remake" it, it should be with a whole new cast. I was never a huge fan of the original. I liked it ok, but I could take it or leave it. But it is what it is. Like Cary said, if they're making a movie from the novel, it's not NECESSARILY a remake of the MOVIE. Just another take on the novel.
Well, I don't remember reading the "Nightmare on Elm St." novel.
Leave it the fuck alone.

James said...

Before scrolling down to the last line I actually jumped over to imdb.

Tom H. said...

Haha! See, that's my point! That statement SHOULD be so absurd that you go "You're full of shit, Tom." and get on with your life. But the way things are, it's NOT that far-fetched. It's entire possible that they could do that. Or worse. Like remake "Plan 9 From Outer Space".
Oh, wait....
Shit....

Samantha Marie said...

At Comic Con I was waiting to hear a Wes Craven panel ironically, and right before it there was a panel on the new Friday the 13th Movie. The perpetrators associated with the 'Jason' remake are also associated with the Nightmare on Elmstreet remake. All they could talk about was how much they wanted to remake previous horror films. This was greeted with applause from a majority of the audience... and all I could sit there and think was "what the fuck?!"

There is such a drout of good original idea in horror as a genre. We need a renaissance!

Tom H. said...

Amen, sista! I refuse to believe that in my lifetime, I witnessed the death of the horror genre. Or any other genre that is frought with fucking remakes.

Just some guy. said...

Jesus. I don't know if you still even check this anymore, but I've finally gotten around to reading your backlog of blogs (?).

Just a quick suggestion:

If you're looking for original films (especially in the horror genre), you sure as shit aren't gonna find them coming from Hollywood. But if you don't mind subtitles, or learning a foreign language, you can watch foreign films.

Japan has made a lot of really good horror films that were remade by Hollywood execs. Sometimes they match the success of the original (The Ring), but sometimes they can't touch it (One Missed Call).

Speaking of One Missed Call, if you never have, check out some of Takashi Miike's films if you're not easily offended. Some are crap, but some are amazing. Just ask if you're interested and I can recommend some.