Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Little Off Topic....

Ok, when I first started this blog, I figured it would just be a way for me to bitch about shit. After reviewing my last few blogs, it's sort of turned into a way for me to talk about my obsession with bad, schlocky movies. Which is fine! I love talking about them, and I've gotten a few comments.

But, just for now, I'm gonna bitch.

If you don't know, I work at a local coffeeshop. It's a very "mom and pop" place. It's been around for 25 years, long before Starbucks decided they wanted to take over the world in a now-failed bid. (ha!!)

I am SO FUCKING SICK of people coming in to my work, and asking me if we can do drinks "like Starbucks"!!!
A little word of advice to my dear readers:
Do you get all dressed up, go to a fancy restaurant, sit down, look at the menu, hand it back to the waiter and say, "Can you do a Big Mac, like at McDonald's?"
NO!!! YOU DON'T!!!
Let me let you in on a little secret. Starbucks sucks. They burn...er...roast their beans a whole time zone away. By the time the beans get to the store they're at LEAST a month old. But since they're all over the fucking place, people think that Starbucks is the end-all-be-all of coffee. When people come into our place and taste real coffee, they're blown away! (Ok, I didn't want this to turn into a CoffeeWorks commercial).
The point is, don't go into a fancy restaurant and order a Big Mac, don't go into McDonald's and order a Whopper, and DON'T go into a coffee shop and order a motherfucking frappuccino!! And, if you're dumb enough to go into a coffee shop and order a motherfucking frappuccino, and I say I don't know what a motherfucking frappuccino is, DON'T look at me and say, "You know, like at Starbucks??" I WORK at a coffee shop! I don't GO to Starbucks!! If you want something specific, say "I'm looking for a blended mocha. Do you have anything like that?" I would be happy to get you what you want.

Ok, I feel better.
But, god help the next person who orders a motherfucking frappuccino from me. Before I cave their head in with the espresso machine, I'm gonna say "Didn't you read my motherfucking blog???"
Then BAM!!!!

Ok, back to the movies.
Check this movie out:

10 comments:

Erin said...

So I have to admit, I like Starbucks...but I also like Coffeeworks (and Naked and Temple) and I would NEVER try to order a Starbucks drink in a non Starbucks eastablishment. Jesus, people! Pull your heads out of your asses! Besides,Frappuccinos suck anyway. Gross.

P.S. Thank you for keeping me entertained at work.

Tom H. said...

There's nothing wrong with liking Starbucks. I really don't have anything against them. Except there's a BILLION of them. Seriously.
It's the customers that think ALL coffee shops are Starbucks. Then they think it's MY fault we're not Starbucks.
In a nutshell, idiots piss me off. :)

writegrrrl said...

um, so that would be a 'no' on the Venti double whip, half-calf, extra hot Mint Mocha Chip Frappucino?

suzi boneshaker said...

i am okay with the starbucks in an odd way cause they offer health benefits to their people.
not all establishments of the like can do that, or will do that.
but yes, the corporateness (hey i make up words here!) of it all is lame-O.
i don't really go to any coffeehouses these days.
too expensive...sigh. fucking economy...
=)

Mickie Rat said...

I like that hypnotoad sound at the end of the shockwaves trailer...

Samantha Marie said...

Luckily I know that CoffeWorks finest drink is actually of the cherry cola variety.

Erin said...

Oh and Tom, idiots piss me off too!

James said...

Rolling around on the ground laughing!!!

James said...

By the way Brooke says Shockwaves sucked so bad.

Tom H. said...

Yes, we're all WELL AWARE of Brooke's opinion of Shock Waves! She watched it in her "hippie days", though, so her opinion doesn't count. :)