Ok, I'm now completely out of ideas for my blog. So, I decided to redo my last blog.
There's this drunken bum...
Ok, not really. I'm just trying to prove a point.
I'm REALLY fed up with Hollywood's quest to remake EVERY movie ever made.
I just found out today that Quentin Tarantino is remaking Faster Pussycat Kill Kill! He's trying to cast porn star Tera Patrick in the lead role. Tera Patrick is a beautiful woman. Probably WAAAY too beautiful to be doing porn. So, it's nothing against her. I just have a problem with remaking one of the greatest movies I've ever seen. And I WILL say, if anyone is gonna remake it, I'm glad it's Tarantino, because I'm sure he loves the movie as much as I do and will at least TRY to do it justice, but COME THE FUCK ON!!! It was done to perfection the first time! Along with Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, The Longest Yard, King Kong, (twice), Halloween, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Cape Fear, Freaky Friday, Cheaper By The Dozen, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Amityville Horror, Gone in 60 Seconds, Assault on Precinct 13, Willard, House on Haunted Hill, The Hills Have Eyes, War of the Worlds, Manchurian Candidate, Mighty Joe Young, Bad News Bears, The Nutty Professor, The Fly, Godzilla, Village of the Damned, Planet of the Apes, Island of Dr. Moreau, Walking Tall, The Pink Panther, Psycho, The Fog, The Out-Of-Towners, Rollerball, The Omen, Shaft, Ocean's Eleven, not to mention the planned remakes of:
Battle Royale, (the GREAT Asian film! See it!! NOT the fucking remake!) The Evil Dead (I KNOW!! They're gonna fuck up the only film in the trilogy that didn't SUCK ALL THE ASSES!!!), Conan the Barbarian, Logan's Run (Sorry, Cary, it's true!), Death Wish, The Taking of Pelham 123, Fahrenheit 451, Friday the 13th!! The Last House on the Left, Hellraiser, Tron, Clash of the Titans, Akira, The Birds! (AAAAUUUGGGHH!!!), Frankenweenie!!, Nightmare on Elm St., The Warriors!!!!!, Piranha, Escape From NY, Meatballs, Porky's (Gonna be called "Howard Stern's Porky's"), Short Circuit (I'm pretty sure the original sucked all the asses that the Evil Dead sequels missed), Straw Dogs, 1984, The Dirty Dozen, Footloose!!, The Thing, (which was already a remake, before it all got out of hand), the Swarm , Fame, and probably worst of all, Plan 9 From Outer Space!!!
Seriously.
I guess every idea ever has been done. In the 100 years since the movie camera was invented, we've done EVERY single possible idea for a movie. So, I guess instead of using our imaginations, let's just "reimagine" the movies we've already done.
Enough is enough.
Am I alone here? Is everyone clamoring to see all these goddamn remakes??
End of rant.
I feel better.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?
Normally, I'm "Pro-cop". I know that's not a popular stance to take to the "punks" out there, but really, it's a shit job, they don't get paid a lot to do it, and like any other group out there, a couple assholes give them all a bad name. I truly believe that the vast majority are good, hard-working people trying to do their best.
That said, a couple of them pissed me off yesterday.
There has been a drunken bum woman who has been hanging out around my work lately. Maybe the "bum" moniker isn't exactly PC, but I believe there is a big difference between "homeless" people who are truly down on their luck and need our help, and "bums" who choose to live like that, asking for change so they can get shitfaced drunk and cause more problems. But that's another blog.... :)
Anyway, I'm fairly certain this woman is harmless. But she is CONSTANTLY drunk. She sits on the front patio at my work bumming change off of our customers as they come in. When I go out to POLITELY shoo her away, I get "I'm gonna fuck you up, boy. Fuck you." blah blah blah. So, I've gotten less and less polite in my shoo-ing. I'm now at the point I don't even bother. I just call the cops. They have told me that I shouldn't even have contact with her. Just to call them right away. Well, yesterday, she and another bum we have trouble with were in the parking lot here, sitting against the wall sharing a bottle of hooch. They were there for quite a while, getting progressively louder. So, I called the cops.
They actually showed up fairly quickly. Five or ten minutes. I thought, "Oh, good. This will be the end of it." I watched as they asked for their id's. (without ever getting out of the car, mind you.) I couldn't hear what was going on, but after chatting for a minute or two, the cops drove off, and the bums went back to what they were doing. WTF???
About 15 minutes later, the man was gone, and the woman was passed out drunk in the parking lot. Now, the parking lot is basically my front yard. I'm pretty sure those cops would have been pissed if they got home from work and found a couple bums getting hammered in THEIR front yard! I went out and yelled "HEY!!" at the woman. Nothing. After yelling a couple more times right in her face, I came back in and called the cops again. I got the same dispatcher I got the first time. I told her the cops showed up, did NOTHING, and now she was passed out in the parking lot. She apologized and sent another cop out. By the time he showed up, she was gone. Probably to bother shoppers at Safeway for change.
They always say, "Don't take the law into your own hands." Well, when they don't do their fuckin' job, what choice do we have? If the situation arises again, (I mean WHEN it arises again), why would I call them? I know she's going to get abusive, and if she's drunk enough, she might even come at me. But if I can't count on the cops to do their job, I have to do it.
There was another time that 3 drunk guys were hanging out in front of my work on the patio at closing time. I went out and started stacking chairs. I said, "Closing up, guys, I need your chairs." They said "fuck you. We're not leaving." So I called the cops. The drunks broke bottles, kicked chairs around, yelled, threw stuff, etc. I told the dispatcher all of this. This was about 6pm. Fucking 11:30 that night, the cops showed up! Five and a half fucking hours??? Are you kidding me???
Ah, to hell with it. I'm gonna go have some watermelon.
That said, a couple of them pissed me off yesterday.
There has been a drunken bum woman who has been hanging out around my work lately. Maybe the "bum" moniker isn't exactly PC, but I believe there is a big difference between "homeless" people who are truly down on their luck and need our help, and "bums" who choose to live like that, asking for change so they can get shitfaced drunk and cause more problems. But that's another blog.... :)
Anyway, I'm fairly certain this woman is harmless. But she is CONSTANTLY drunk. She sits on the front patio at my work bumming change off of our customers as they come in. When I go out to POLITELY shoo her away, I get "I'm gonna fuck you up, boy. Fuck you." blah blah blah. So, I've gotten less and less polite in my shoo-ing. I'm now at the point I don't even bother. I just call the cops. They have told me that I shouldn't even have contact with her. Just to call them right away. Well, yesterday, she and another bum we have trouble with were in the parking lot here, sitting against the wall sharing a bottle of hooch. They were there for quite a while, getting progressively louder. So, I called the cops.
They actually showed up fairly quickly. Five or ten minutes. I thought, "Oh, good. This will be the end of it." I watched as they asked for their id's. (without ever getting out of the car, mind you.) I couldn't hear what was going on, but after chatting for a minute or two, the cops drove off, and the bums went back to what they were doing. WTF???
About 15 minutes later, the man was gone, and the woman was passed out drunk in the parking lot. Now, the parking lot is basically my front yard. I'm pretty sure those cops would have been pissed if they got home from work and found a couple bums getting hammered in THEIR front yard! I went out and yelled "HEY!!" at the woman. Nothing. After yelling a couple more times right in her face, I came back in and called the cops again. I got the same dispatcher I got the first time. I told her the cops showed up, did NOTHING, and now she was passed out in the parking lot. She apologized and sent another cop out. By the time he showed up, she was gone. Probably to bother shoppers at Safeway for change.
They always say, "Don't take the law into your own hands." Well, when they don't do their fuckin' job, what choice do we have? If the situation arises again, (I mean WHEN it arises again), why would I call them? I know she's going to get abusive, and if she's drunk enough, she might even come at me. But if I can't count on the cops to do their job, I have to do it.
There was another time that 3 drunk guys were hanging out in front of my work on the patio at closing time. I went out and started stacking chairs. I said, "Closing up, guys, I need your chairs." They said "fuck you. We're not leaving." So I called the cops. The drunks broke bottles, kicked chairs around, yelled, threw stuff, etc. I told the dispatcher all of this. This was about 6pm. Fucking 11:30 that night, the cops showed up! Five and a half fucking hours??? Are you kidding me???
Ah, to hell with it. I'm gonna go have some watermelon.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Til Death Do You Part??
So I was talking to my sister Sue this morning, and she was telling me about a friend of ours from high school (someone I barely knew. More her friend I guess.) who is getting divorced.
With the national divorce rate WELL over 50%, isn't it time for change?
I just don't think "forever" is possible anymore. I propose that marriage licenses expire after 5 years. If things go south before that, by all means, get a divorce. If, at the 5 year mark, you decide that you wanna go your separate ways, split up the loot and call it a day. If you hit 5 years and things are going great, pick up a 3 year option and get on with it.
It's a whole new world from when our parents were married. I think I only knew one or two kids in my school that had divorced parents. And of course we hucked rocks at them till they cried and pooped their pants. (just seeing if you're paying attention.)
I think we should all start a petition to put this into law. I think the Governator would be into it.
Anyone know where he hangs out?
With the national divorce rate WELL over 50%, isn't it time for change?
I just don't think "forever" is possible anymore. I propose that marriage licenses expire after 5 years. If things go south before that, by all means, get a divorce. If, at the 5 year mark, you decide that you wanna go your separate ways, split up the loot and call it a day. If you hit 5 years and things are going great, pick up a 3 year option and get on with it.
It's a whole new world from when our parents were married. I think I only knew one or two kids in my school that had divorced parents. And of course we hucked rocks at them till they cried and pooped their pants. (just seeing if you're paying attention.)
I think we should all start a petition to put this into law. I think the Governator would be into it.
Anyone know where he hangs out?
Friday, June 27, 2008
If I was on a desert island...
Lately, my friend Samantha Marie and I have been coming up with Desert Island Whatevers. Top 5 movies, cd's, songs, books, etc that we'd have on a desert island that was equipped with dvd players, stereos, etc...
So I figured it would make a good, quick blog.
Here are my Desert Island Dvd's, in no particular order.
1. Night of the Living Dead- I HAVE to have a zombie flick on the list, and this one is the best by far. I'll NEVER get sick of watching this movie.
2. Pulp Fiction- Tarantino at his best. There is so much going on in this movie, I could watch it over and over. And I have.
3. Slap Shot- The best sports movie ever. Hands down. If you haven't seen it, see it. You'll be quoting it for the next year or so.
4. The South Park Movie- Still makes me laugh my ass off everytime I see it. The best show on tv, and one of my all-time favorite comedy movies.
5. Full Metal Jacket- Best war movie ever made.
There you go. Let's hear yours!
Maybe next time I'll do cd's.
So I figured it would make a good, quick blog.
Here are my Desert Island Dvd's, in no particular order.
1. Night of the Living Dead- I HAVE to have a zombie flick on the list, and this one is the best by far. I'll NEVER get sick of watching this movie.
2. Pulp Fiction- Tarantino at his best. There is so much going on in this movie, I could watch it over and over. And I have.
3. Slap Shot- The best sports movie ever. Hands down. If you haven't seen it, see it. You'll be quoting it for the next year or so.
4. The South Park Movie- Still makes me laugh my ass off everytime I see it. The best show on tv, and one of my all-time favorite comedy movies.
5. Full Metal Jacket- Best war movie ever made.
There you go. Let's hear yours!
Maybe next time I'll do cd's.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I Believe In Showmanship!
Today I got the first Wrestlemania from Netflix. I'll be getting all the subsequent Wrestlemanias for the next month or so. Watching the first one today made me nostalgic for early WWF along with a lot of other stuff from my childhood.
I remember going to a WWF match at Williamsport High School around 1980 or so. Going to a WWF match then and going to one now are two wildly different things. Now you have to get your $50 nosebleed tickets weeks in advance, if you're lucky enough to get them at all. Back then, all you had to do was show up to the local high school an hour in advance with $6 and enough footspeed to haul ass down to the ringside seats the second they open the door.
My neighbor Eric and I showed up and got our ringside seats. There were a lot of forgettable preliminary bouts, but the main event is something I'll never forget. It was the WWF champ, Bob Backlund, vs. The Iron Sheik. Keep in mind this is around the time of the hostage crisis in Iran, the Russians were stockpiling weapons, (along with the US), and international tensions were running EXTREMELY high. For an Iranian wrestler come to Williamsport PA and spit on the American flag in front of 300 rabid flag waving wrestling fans was an act of bravery in and of itself. All he had to do was show up, and it would have gotten the crowd yelling for his head. But he did more than that.
Showmanship.
Bob Backlund was introduced first, to an earsplitting standing ovation. Not because he was the personification of the American spirit, but because we knew he was going to kick the living SHIT out of the hated Iron Sheik.
The Sheik was introduced next. He came out of the tunnel waving the Iranian flag. He was yelling at each individual spectator within arm's reach (including me) all the way to the ring. The crowd was SCREAMING for blood! I remember looking around thinking "Wow. This guy is able to get this kind of reaction from these people just by showing his face."
He put a knee up on the ring to pull himself up, and Bob Backlund took a step towards him. He jumped back down and walked around the ring again, waving the flag, yelling anti-American slogans in everyone's face. People were screaming, throwing cups, obscenities, popcorn, whatever they could. He walked back out, shouting a final "Irrran Numbair Vun! USA-PTOOEY!!" before disappearing back into the tunnel.
Showmanship.
The crowd got even LOUDER as he disappeared. I didn't think that was possible. You could hear the tone of the crowd growing more hoarse. After a few minutes, which seemed like an hour, he reappeared from the tunnel and made his way through the increasingly maddened crowd. Waving the flag, more cursing America. There was almost a mob mentality that you couldn't help but get caught up in. Eric and I were screaming "Get in the ring, you coward!!" along with everyone else. He made a few more laps around the ring waving the flag before finally getting in the ring.
I don't remember who won the match. Probably Backlund. If the Sheik won, I'm sure he cheated. It didn't really matter. I saw first hand how a true performer can put a crowd in the palm of his hand without even breaking a sweat, literally and figuratively.
We all know what the WWF has evolved (devolved?) into. Explosions. Weak, hackneyed storylines. Half human/half silicon girls with no self-esteem parading around the ring. Lame characters. There's only one thing missing.
Showmanship.
I remember going to a WWF match at Williamsport High School around 1980 or so. Going to a WWF match then and going to one now are two wildly different things. Now you have to get your $50 nosebleed tickets weeks in advance, if you're lucky enough to get them at all. Back then, all you had to do was show up to the local high school an hour in advance with $6 and enough footspeed to haul ass down to the ringside seats the second they open the door.
My neighbor Eric and I showed up and got our ringside seats. There were a lot of forgettable preliminary bouts, but the main event is something I'll never forget. It was the WWF champ, Bob Backlund, vs. The Iron Sheik. Keep in mind this is around the time of the hostage crisis in Iran, the Russians were stockpiling weapons, (along with the US), and international tensions were running EXTREMELY high. For an Iranian wrestler come to Williamsport PA and spit on the American flag in front of 300 rabid flag waving wrestling fans was an act of bravery in and of itself. All he had to do was show up, and it would have gotten the crowd yelling for his head. But he did more than that.
Showmanship.
Bob Backlund was introduced first, to an earsplitting standing ovation. Not because he was the personification of the American spirit, but because we knew he was going to kick the living SHIT out of the hated Iron Sheik.
The Sheik was introduced next. He came out of the tunnel waving the Iranian flag. He was yelling at each individual spectator within arm's reach (including me) all the way to the ring. The crowd was SCREAMING for blood! I remember looking around thinking "Wow. This guy is able to get this kind of reaction from these people just by showing his face."
He put a knee up on the ring to pull himself up, and Bob Backlund took a step towards him. He jumped back down and walked around the ring again, waving the flag, yelling anti-American slogans in everyone's face. People were screaming, throwing cups, obscenities, popcorn, whatever they could. He walked back out, shouting a final "Irrran Numbair Vun! USA-PTOOEY!!" before disappearing back into the tunnel.
Showmanship.
The crowd got even LOUDER as he disappeared. I didn't think that was possible. You could hear the tone of the crowd growing more hoarse. After a few minutes, which seemed like an hour, he reappeared from the tunnel and made his way through the increasingly maddened crowd. Waving the flag, more cursing America. There was almost a mob mentality that you couldn't help but get caught up in. Eric and I were screaming "Get in the ring, you coward!!" along with everyone else. He made a few more laps around the ring waving the flag before finally getting in the ring.
I don't remember who won the match. Probably Backlund. If the Sheik won, I'm sure he cheated. It didn't really matter. I saw first hand how a true performer can put a crowd in the palm of his hand without even breaking a sweat, literally and figuratively.
We all know what the WWF has evolved (devolved?) into. Explosions. Weak, hackneyed storylines. Half human/half silicon girls with no self-esteem parading around the ring. Lame characters. There's only one thing missing.
Showmanship.
They always come in 3's
We all know about the recent passing of Tim Russert, and the great George Carlin, but one that got overlooked is Stan Winston. He was the special effects mastermind behind the original Terminator, and the first two Alien movies (the only ones that really count). If you check out his imdb page, you'll see the incredible body of work he's compiled. He will be missed, whether you knew he existed or not.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Testing, testing....
Just wondering: Did everyone who ever started one of these blogspots start off with a post saying "testing, testing"?
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