Here we are, mid-November. Two weeks before Thanksgiving. The memories of a great Halloween still fresh in my mind. And I'm already sick to fucking death of Christmas.
I've never been a huge fan of Christmas anyway. But, seriously. One week before Halloween, I saw my first Christmas commercial of the season. Two months before the day.
So, two months out of twelve, one sixth of our lives is spent shopping, preparing, being bombarded by Christmas bullshit.
So, here is my proposal.
I say Christmas should be treated like Halloween.
Leave it for the kids.
Kids love it. They should.
But once you hit young adulthood, you shouldn't be forced to participate. If you want to, that's fine! Decorate your house! Dress like Santa! Go nuts!
But if you choose not to, you shouldn't feel forced to.
And you should be able to punch anyone in the face who used the words "Bah humbug" or "scrooge" when you say you don't like Christmas.
It would go a little like this:
"Hey, Tom. Do you like Christmas?" "No." "What a Scrooge! Bah Humbug!" POW!!! "OW! Are you out of your fucking mind???"
Fair warning.
And don't give me any bullshit about it being Christ's birthday. We all know that it stopped being about that years ago.
So, to wrap this little rant up on a positive note, I do love some of the old Christmas specials. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Mr. Magoo's Christmas, A Christmas Story.
But you can watch them any time of year. You don't have to wait till December. Or October.
I'm hungry.
Bye.
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4 comments:
I shutter to Christmas music, I hate it! One of the best parts of working in a call center and not retail is I don't have to listen to stupid Christmas music for 2 months! Seriously, why do stores have to play Christmas music for 2 fucking months straight? Nobody wants to hear that shit that much! I'm with you on this, I would love to just lay out the next person that asks me "So you looking forward to the holidays?" I have such a vicious mind cursed with an apathetic heart. So instead of punching them in the face, I think I will reply, "Oh yeah, first I'm gonna go visit my moms grave, because you know shes dead right? Yeah, she's dead" And then just keep talking about my dead mom, they'll be so uncomfortable they'll try and get out of the conversation as soon as possible. After that you're pretty much guaranteed they'll never ever bring it up again.
I'm always so depressed when I go into a grocery store and see that two weeks before Halloween they are already trying to pack in the Christmas decorations.
It's just so ridiculous. I went into KFC 2 weeks after Halloween and they were BLASTING "O Holy Night". It did the exact opposite of "putting me in the Christmas spirit". Whatever that is.
At least you don't have to listen to xmas music at one of your jobs for the next month +
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