"I realize these views are unpopular, but I've never courted popularity."

I really REALLY think I'm alone on this one, (and that's ok), but I STILL hate the Evil Dead sequels.
I've tried to like them. I really have.
But, I think the difference for me is, I'm old.
Hear me out.
When the first Evil Dead came out, I was about 17. On the poster, it said " 'the most ferociously original horror movie to come out in years.' -Stephen King". I remember walking to the theatre to see it. All my friends lived in the opposite direction, so I walked there alone.
I couldn't believe my eyes. It truly was terrifying and creepy. It was unrelenting and stomach-turning. The first truly scary moment was when the girl was naming the cards from across the room and they turned to her and she was floating there, speaking in that voice. Couldn't believe my eyes. And it just wouldn't stop from that point on. One creepy moment after another. On almost no budget.

When I left the theatre, I thought, "I finally got my money's worth at a horror movie." Yes, I was already jaded by that point, and movies were probably about $3. But still.
The walk home alone that night was one of the creepiest things I've experienced.

Six years went by.
Six years of me thinking that the Evil Dead was the scariest movie I've ever seen. By then, I'd moved to California, and rented the VHS copy from the local "49er Video" more times than I can count. Creeped me out everytime I watched it.

Then, Evil Dead 2 comes out.
I couldn't freakin' WAIT!! I went the first day it opened.
Disaster.
They made it a comedy. They went for laughs. Cheap laughs at that. They cheapened my experience and memory of the first one.
I came out of the theatre feeling completely stupid for liking the first one. THIS is what they thought of their audience?? It was a slap in the face.

Imagine seeing "The Exorcist" when it first came out. Easily one of the scariest movies of all time. Then imagine they came out with "Exorcist 2" and you run to the theatre in anticipation of having the living fertilizer scared out of you again. Instead, you're treated to Linda Blair cracking jokes and mugging for the camera. Wouldn't you feel stupid for being scared at the first one?

I hear the argument "Part 2 is where Ash became a badass!" *cough*samantha*cough*
Why do we need another badass in a movie?? We already have John McLane (Die Hard), Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Jean Claude Van Dam, Dirty Harry, and a whole raft of other Hollywood tough guys.
One of the things I liked about the first Evil Dead was that Ash was a normal guy. Someone we could all identify with. What would WE do if we were out in a cabin in the middle of the woods, miles from nowhere, and all of our friends were turning into demonic zombies? I know what we WOULDN'T do, and that's start spouting cute tough-guy one liners before beheading a zombie.

Ok, I know most people like the sequel, and the equally terrible "Army of Darkness", but look at it from my point of view. Most of you probably saw "Army" first, then, probably the first and then the second one. You were conditioned to respond to the comedy first, so the horror of the first one got lost on you.
I saw the first one first. And was actually scared.
If I want to see a comedy, I'll watch Slap Shot for the billionth time. And STILL laugh my ass off.
But that's another blog.....

It's WAY too early for this shit.

Here we are, mid-November. Two weeks before Thanksgiving. The memories of a great Halloween still fresh in my mind. And I'm already sick to fucking death of Christmas.
I've never been a huge fan of Christmas anyway. But, seriously. One week before Halloween, I saw my first Christmas commercial of the season. Two months before the day.
So, two months out of twelve, one sixth of our lives is spent shopping, preparing, being bombarded by Christmas bullshit.
So, here is my proposal.
I say Christmas should be treated like Halloween.
Leave it for the kids.
Kids love it. They should.
But once you hit young adulthood, you shouldn't be forced to participate. If you want to, that's fine! Decorate your house! Dress like Santa! Go nuts!
But if you choose not to, you shouldn't feel forced to.
And you should be able to punch anyone in the face who used the words "Bah humbug" or "scrooge" when you say you don't like Christmas.
It would go a little like this:
"Hey, Tom. Do you like Christmas?" "No." "What a Scrooge! Bah Humbug!" POW!!! "OW! Are you out of your fucking mind???"
Fair warning.
And don't give me any bullshit about it being Christ's birthday. We all know that it stopped being about that years ago.
So, to wrap this little rant up on a positive note, I do love some of the old Christmas specials. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Mr. Magoo's Christmas, A Christmas Story.
But you can watch them any time of year. You don't have to wait till December. Or October.

I'm hungry.

Bye.

I KNEW it!!!

Wow....

I'm sitting here watching the news of Barack Obama's victory in the presidential race.
I'm old enough to remember the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. It's a vague memory, but I remember my dad watching the news as all the unrest went on almost nightly.
It's amazing that we now have an African American president.
Keith Olbermann on MSNBC said earlier, "Do you remember the night Walter Cronkite described Neil Armstrong walking on the moon for the first time? This is a "man on the moon" moment."
Remember where you were tonight, everyone.
You'll want to tell your grandkids.

Congratulations.
To all of us.